Telepathic Fish

Fishing is boring.  In this universe, one of the most boring pastimes available to humanity is sitting and waiting for a suicidal fish to so despair of life that it hurls itself upon your hook.  In considering this, I began to wonder how bored fish might be.  It’s not like they have a lot to occupy their minds.  Unless they are telepathic, of course.

If fish were telepathic, what would they think about all day?  What would they have to say to one another?  Would their conversations be limited to the mundane affairs of life?  (Hey!  Let’s swim over here!  Now, swim over there!  Avoid the shark!)  Long ago, humanity faced this problem of having too much time on our hands and decided to invent Philosophy.  Well, it was either that or go fishing.

Would telepathic fish make the same choice?  If so, what would their philosophical discussions sound like?  I’m sure they would have differing views.  Being fish, they would probably divide into different schools of thought.  (Yes, I know that’s a bad pun.)

In a philosophical debate, would the winners eat the losers?  Would sharks be Nihilists, Fatalists, or Existentialists?  Would minnows be Pluralists or Pragmatists?  Would salmon struggle with the concept of Freewill?  Would those individuals who excelled in their philosophical pursuits ever succeed in finding a real job?

On the other hand, watching telepathic fish outwit fishermen might be slightly more entertaining.

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