Live like you have a Porpoise

(previously posted elsewhere)

I heard this phrase recently. It made me wonder, how would life be different I had a porpoise, or even a dolphin? I don’t have an ocean, or even a pool. The tub might be a bit small. He might enjoy the water slides at the community pool, but carrying him up the ladder would get pretty tiresome. I don’t think he’d fit inside the waterbed. Besides, that’s where I keep my eels.

What would life be like if I had a porpoise? He’d hog the remote and watch every episode of Flipper. Whenever he ordered pizza, I’d have to pick off the sushi. Before going to the vet, I’d have to fill the mini-van up with water. It’s not the fact that I’d have to wear scuba gear while driving that I mind as much as trying to get rid of the wet porpoise smell afterwards.

I suppose we’d have to move to the coast. I’d probably end up spending the day standing around on the dock staring out at the water saying, “Where did he go now?” That sounds rather porpoiseless to me.

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Free Time

March 2, 2014 – March 8, 2014 is Read an eBook Week. To mess with our minds, Smashwords is offering many eBooks at discounted prices this week. Some are even free. As a result, quantum experimental philosophers are postulating that minds either will or won’t be blown.

The problem is that the sale only lasts for one week. For those who seize the opportunity, they’ll be able to download a horde of new eBooks. Those who don’t will be left to ask themselves hard questions and dull the pain with hundreds of hours of reality TV.

I know. You’re stunned. Well, before that sandwich falls out of your hand, let me put you at ease. You can download Reality Challenged from Smashwords this week abslutely free. That’s right. Free. I’m not kidding.

Go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/262469 and use coupon code RW100. While you’re there, you might want to take a look at some of the other great books on sale this week. You could end up with a new favorite book. That may result in the sudden disappearance of large blocks of time. The fact that you enjoyed this mental vacation for free may explain that great big grin on your face.