Live like you have a Porpoise

(previously posted elsewhere)

I heard this phrase recently. It made me wonder, how would life be different I had a porpoise, or even a dolphin? I don’t have an ocean, or even a pool. The tub might be a bit small. He might enjoy the water slides at the community pool, but carrying him up the ladder would get pretty tiresome. I don’t think he’d fit inside the waterbed. Besides, that’s where I keep my eels.

What would life be like if I had a porpoise? He’d hog the remote and watch every episode of Flipper. Whenever he ordered pizza, I’d have to pick off the sushi. Before going to the vet, I’d have to fill the mini-van up with water. It’s not the fact that I’d have to wear scuba gear while driving that I mind as much as trying to get rid of the wet porpoise smell afterwards.

I suppose we’d have to move to the coast. I’d probably end up spending the day standing around on the dock staring out at the water saying, “Where did he go now?” That sounds rather porpoiseless to me.

5 Replies to “Live like you have a Porpoise”

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