You’re probably a mammal. Most humans are. Until recently, humanity was 100% mammalian. Numnel messed up that statistic.
It wasn’t his fault. The National Association of People who Form Associations for No Apparent Purpose, Office of Mammalian Classification (NAPFANAP/OMC) revoked his status as a mammal. They sent a form letter and everything.
He should be used to it. This sort of thing happens to him all the time. Anyone else in his situation might find this upsetting. In Numnel’s experience, this twist of Normality is rather normal. Every so often, Reality has a tendency to yank the rug out from under him and toss a pie in his face. After all this time, he’s become somewhat accustomed to it. The wolves who raised him taught him to accept life as it comes. Granted, they also taught him that running triggers their hunting instinct.
Numnel doesn’t know why these things keep happening to him. The question doesn’t really concern him. It probably should, though. They probably have something to do with it. I mean, the “They” people refer to when referring to an unknown group. Them. One or more of Them appears to have it in for Numnel. From Their position in the Prime Universe, They can manipulate his universe. That’s not a good thing. His universe is in danger as long as he’s in it. Fortunately, that peril will be short lived. They’ll see to that.
Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Taking your band on tour is hard work. Finding the next gig can be a challenge when your universe vanishes. That’s just another day on the road for Detestica.
Detestica is a hard rock band. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of them before. They may not be from this universe. In spite of that fact, they’re recognized more often than you might think. Leon is the band’s vocalist. He always delivers a killer performance, with or without an audience. Scurvy is the surprisingly laid back guitarist. On stage, he’s a shredding maniac. Offstage, he’s always looking for a good nap. The bassist, Vic, has never had any directional sense whatsoever. He gets lost at every opportunity, even on stage. Bud is the long suffering drummer who takes on the job of corralling these personalities to get to the next gig.
When they’re on stage, they’re a sight to behold. Their shows are big, loud, and explosive. Anytime they play Banshee’s Lullaby, it could be their last (in this universe). If they play it just right, they might vanish suddenly during the bridge. That sort of thing can really ruin a good gig. The only thing harder than touring with Detestica may be finding them again.
She appears to be a quiet, reserved, and harmless young girl with brown hair and insanely big eyes. Why is she deep inside a dark tunnel all alone? What is that loud, sucking, slurping and swooshing noise?
No one is really sure exactly how many heads suddenly sprout from her skin. There are too many. On that point, everyone agrees. The fact that each head looks off in a different direction with those huge eyes is somewhat disconcerting. Somehow, the term, “Creepy”, seems to be an understatement. The most common reaction upon seeing this phenomenon, is for characters to scream, “AAAAGGHHHH!” She wonders how they know her name.
Just like that, the heads slip back under her skin. She seems to know something about the immediate future. She talks about choosing the Best Possible Universe. It’s not exactly clear what she means by that.
What is known, is that AAAAGGHHHH! knows too much to ignore, but may be selective with the information she will share. It would probably be Best to keep her in plain site at all times, just in case.
At first glance, he may appear cowardly. That might have something to do with his tendency to hide behind others and scream, “Protect me!” whenever encountering the unknown. Young wizards don’t grow up to be old wizards without taking a few precautions, you understand. Thelonius is motivated to continue his own aging process, preferably with all of his original limbs. The problem is that at some point, he acquired a Gem of Trans-Universal Traveler Location Finding. (These magical items can be ridiculously specific.) This artifact is leading him on a blind trek through the multiverse, leaping from one dangerous universe to the next.
He assembled a party of adventurers to protect him on his quest. There’s Slug, a fierce dwarf warrior with an overdeveloped sense of sarcasm. Weasel is a Ninja who has an unfortunate habit of announcing his next moves. There’s Skippy the Ranger, who insists that his oufit (including the shorts) is authentic because his vest says, “Ranger”. (It actually says, “Park Ranger”, but that’s another story.) Boil is an Ogre Barbarian (for those times where a regular barbarian just won’t do). Finally, Percival the Paladin forced his way into the group. They’re a dysfunctional bunch to be sure. It’s quite difficult to find well adjusted, mature, emotionally stable individuals to join a dungeon raiding, multiverse travelling, and monster hacking party. Go figure.
When you think about it, setting out to leap into another universe with this crew is either brave or stupendously idiotic. At times, it’s hard to tell the two apart. Thelonius will need every bit of whatever bravery he can dredge up when he encounters AAAAGGHHHH. (Yes, that’s her name.)
She’s your ordinary teenage psionic who just may be the key to saving the Multiverse. She’s being hunted by a number of creatures from different universes. She’s gathering a bizarre assortment of friends/allies/acquaintances. She’s also gifted with a unique ability to see into other universes and then Trade objects of equal mass between them.
So, she’s not that ordinary. In fact, she’s unique in ways she doesn’t yet realize. The Watchers know this and they’re very interested in seeing her in action. The Director knows it as well and he can’t wait to use her as a tool to find and hack into the Prime Universe. He’ll have to take a number, because there’s an ever increasing number of very dangerous characters who are developing an unhealthy interest in her. She also doesn’t do well with robots.
It’s not her fault, really. She’s an excellent communicator with characters including hostile 2 meter tall long haired bats, gaseous clouds who speak via scent, a Krazhdj, talking horses with serious attitude problems, humanoid chameleons who communicate in pictures, and the occasional paranoid revolutionary. Robots don’t have a mind to read, though. That makes them particularly irritating.
It’s a very good thing she’s got such a great group of friends to help her in her quest. If only she could keep them all in the same universe…
As alien species go, the Krazhdj are on the unusual side. A mass of armor plating, weighing in at 4 tons, sporting 4 spindly arms, speaking in rumbling noises and quoting horrific poetry, they tend to stand out. The Krazhdj are genderless and refer to one another as “It”. They have no names for themselves or for anyone they encounter. They don’t use first or second person personal pronouns. Instead, a Krazhdj will refer to Itself as, “One”.
At some point in the distant past, Xorian partnered with a Krazhdj and began a long and rather argumentative friendship. The Krazhdj communicates with Xorian using an automated translator. Unfortunately for Xorian, the Krazhdj likes to do so by quoting the Great Poems of It’s culture. Sadly, It’s efforts to expand the mind of It’s pet appear ineffective at best.
In spite of their differences, the Krazhdj has taken in Xorian and, more recently, Psychann as It’s friends. That’s a good thing. Beings that are foolish enough to attack the friend of a Krazhdj usually don’t have very long to reconsider their life choices.
Xorian’s path has been a dangerous and twisted one. A freelance mercenary, he has endured space pirates, paranoid revolutionaries, hostile bats, psionic attacks, prison, gun fights, space battles, and Krazhdji poetry. Over the years, he has traded with xenophobic 2 meter tall laser-eyed bats, retiring pirates, and a gaseous entity that communicates via scent. He’s partnered with a Krazhdj, (known only as “the Krazhdj”…it’s an alien thing). Even though these two verbally spar constantly (when Xorian is listening), they are fiercely loyal to one another.
Some of his history is hidden so far. Xorian appears to have had a negative experience in his past with psionics (telepaths in particular) that he’s not willing to discuss. The story of how he came to team up with a Krazhdj has not yet been told. While his origins may not be known, his friends know they can always count on him.
Psychann will need friends like Xorian in her quest to save the multiverse. It’s a good thing he’s there (until he isn’t…).