Shaved Bunny Surprise

Well, it surprised the bunnies.

I should back up a bit. There’s weather outside. There’s all types of weather, but in July, in the Northern Hemisphere, people are driven by a highly illogical and ultimately self-destructive instinct to go out in it. Convinced that this will be fun, they bake themselves to a crispy texture and then retreat into the safety of the indoors.

I know what you’re thinking, but I disagree. There’s no way the Phelogs of Kragnos 5 would have worn hats made from live ducks. They don’t have heads.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Heads. Humans have them. In fact, human heads are filled with squishy stuff that loves to imagine things. Some people enjoy doing something with their brains in the summer other than attempting to calculate just how much lake water they can drink while being dragged behind a boat at 45 mph. Some enjoy reading. Well, they enjoy reading and glancing up occasionally to chuckle at those who are being dragged around the lake.

You’re probably thinking right now about a huge platter of chili cheese fries, aren’t you. Hey! Stay with me now. Let’s try to stay on topic, okay?

So, people in July… You’re a person, right? Then, you would know. You’d like to have some actual fun while you’re having “fun” this summer. Even if you’re the sort of person who enjoys going out there and turning over only when one side starts to bubble, you’d like to have something better to do while moaning and begging your cousin not to slap your back again. That’s where the bunnies come in.

Why are you giving me that look?

Yes, bunnies. Before you ask, I probably should have thought that through a bit more, but we’ll get to that in a moment. Right now, we’re talking about fun. No, I don’t mean the kind where you brush a half pound of sand off of your sandwich or the kind where you realize that picnics and army ants are quantum entangled. I’m talking about reading. It’s the sort of fun for your brain that doesn’t involve seeing how many layers of skin you can lose before passing out. It’s actual fun. The only thing that’s not fun about it is the fact that you might run out of books to read.

I know. I get it. You’re probably wondering what this has to do with the theory of Quantum Chromodynamics, aren’t you?  That’s exactly the sort of distraction that caused the problem with the bunnies in the first place.

Hang on… That’s right. Bunnies. BundleRabbit (https://bundlerabbit.com/) has your summer fun solution. Now, I know what you’re thinking so let me just say that it’s important to keep reading before going out into the backyard with some duct tape and chasing wild rabbits. If it’s too late and you’ve already taken certain steps, you’re probably also thinking that you don’t want the tape to pull the hair off of your hares, but let me just say that attempting to shave them first will not end well.

Assuming that it’s not too late and you’re arms, face and chest are not wrapped in bandages, let’ me explain. This summer, starting today, in fact, the Sci-Fi July Fever Fun bundle is available at all of the best eBook sites including Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and iTunes. This bundle includes 11 full length novels for only $9.99 USD. I know. Even the bunnies’ mouths are gaping. Featuring books by Dean Wesley Smith, Russ Crossley, Rebecca M. Senese, Blaze Ward, Tracy Cooper-Posey, Steph Bennion, Michael Warren Lucas, Rebecca S. W. Bates, Barbara G. Tarn, Robert Jeschonek and Ubiquitous Bubba, this bundle is infinitely more fun than an actual bundle of rabbits.

You can view the book trailer here. https://vimeo.com/221944374.

On an unrelated note, if you pictured me splashing a little after shave on a bunny and lightly smacking its paws against its cheeks a la Home Alone, you should be ashamed of yourself. You’re thinking of it right now, aren’t you?

I don’t know how those thoughts get into your head.

Hush! I’m reading

Read an e-Book Week

 

It’s that time of year, again. Desperate to pump a little neural activity through our freezing brains, the Powers That Be have created, “Read an E-Book Week.” You may gasp, if you wish. It’s a concept that so simple, so inspired, and so very quiet that you may wonder how you ever thought you could get through the winter without it. Well, you don’t have to wonder any longer.

In order to promote this event, a number of sites such as Smashwords are running specials or sales on e-Books. Here’s the idea. During this week, browse the selection and fill your virtual squeaky-wheeled shopping cart with all of the e-Books you can grab. Many of those listed this week are either free or substantially discounted, so you can horde to your heart’s content.

During this week only, my novel, Reality Challenged, will be available at Smashwords for 50% off. Use the coupon code, RAE50 when checking out to get the discount. While you’re at it, you might want to grab a couple of free short stories, The Imaginary Invasion and Humanity Was Delicious as well.

There are a lot of great books available on this site as well as on many others. Whatever e-Books you decide to download, I hope they keep your brain warm throughout the cold nights ahead. I recommend stockpiling a healthy supply of them. After all, thanks to a rather unstable groundhog, we have six extra weeks of winter this year. On an unrelated note, I suspect that you might find a larger number of cookbooks featuring groundhog recipes this year. If you decide to cook one of them, try to keep the squealing to a minimum. I’m reading. Thanks.

Free Time

March 2, 2014 – March 8, 2014 is Read an eBook Week. To mess with our minds, Smashwords is offering many eBooks at discounted prices this week. Some are even free. As a result, quantum experimental philosophers are postulating that minds either will or won’t be blown.

The problem is that the sale only lasts for one week. For those who seize the opportunity, they’ll be able to download a horde of new eBooks. Those who don’t will be left to ask themselves hard questions and dull the pain with hundreds of hours of reality TV.

I know. You’re stunned. Well, before that sandwich falls out of your hand, let me put you at ease. You can download Reality Challenged from Smashwords this week abslutely free. That’s right. Free. I’m not kidding.

Go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/262469 and use coupon code RW100. While you’re there, you might want to take a look at some of the other great books on sale this week. You could end up with a new favorite book. That may result in the sudden disappearance of large blocks of time. The fact that you enjoyed this mental vacation for free may explain that great big grin on your face.

Low Cost Reality

Reality is expensive. Stuff costs money. Even money costs money. Time is a dimension, but people will charge you for it. Space has to be purchased or rented. In addition, insurance requires you to pay for possible futures.

Many human beings are trapped in Reality. It’s not their fault. No one asks for existence. As the price of Reality increases, people search desperately for relief.

Relax. Here’s something that should help. The price of Reality may be high, but the cost of Reality Challenged has just gone down.

You’re not imagining things. (Well, not yet, anyway…) Reality Challenged, my debut novel, is now available as an eBook at a reduced price from the usual eBook stores.

Spending less on an eBook can be your way of challenging Reality. Future you would thank you if the cost of time travel was not so high.

Cool Summer Sale

Heat is hot.  Summer has a lot of it.  Sitting in an air conditioned room is cool.  Sitting in an air conditioned room with an eBook is even cooler.

This year, the month of July is getting cooler.  From July 1 to July 31, 2013, you can purchase a copy of Reality Challenged at Smashwords for 50% off.  Just go to the Smashwords web site http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/262469 and use Coupon Code SSW50b when you check out.

The question to ask yourself is, “Would I rather endure the horrendous suffering caused by frying under a massive ball of fire dangling precariously overhead, or relax in serene comfort while reading a funny book?”  I think you know the right answer.